Well-being: It's Not Something We Achieve, It's Who We Are

Imagine such a situation:

Your company decided to sponsor one of the industry events abroad. 

A big one. An international one. 

As you are done setting up the booth with your team, you notice a person from the neighboring booth approaching. Yet, instead of a welcoming introduction, you hear their opening line: “Oh! I can never believe this! Why would you be allowed to sponsor this event along with my company? We are obviously a direct competition, and that’s an appalling mistake of the organizers to allow that to happen!”

Now tell me, what could be a range of typical reactions to such “not – so – unusual” encounter?

Shock. Anger. Defensiveness. Confusion. Stress, because how does one respond to that?

Is it even possible to remain calm and answer somewhat coherently?

And no, I’m not talking about suppressing your emotions, holding in what you actually want to blurt out. Not taking a deep breath to calm down. I’m sure you have seen before others who actually not only kept their composure in such a situation, but were not thrown off by such an off comment. They seem to just answer in the most appropriate way, and that instance didn’t even disturb their cool. This isn't about superhuman composure or special coping mechanisms or 1 of the 100 tricks they learned during that secret leadership training. Neither are they zen monks, or meditate for ages daily …

What if it’s all due to recognizing and honoring our natural capacity for good sense, that underlying current of wellbeing?

What if it just made sense to us that no one can affect how we actually respond to anything they say, and it doesn’t require any extra effort? What is that inherent sense that exists within us all?

"It's about recognizing that beneath the surface of our daily lives, there exists a state of inner peace – a quiet strength that allows us to navigate challenges with grace and resilience."

Wellbeing – the popular take

Wellbeing literally means: "the state of being well."

What you usually hear about wellbeing:

“Well-being is not necessarily a natural state that we are born with and automatically possess.

The common perception is that well-being is achieved through external factors like success, material possessions, and external validation.

We are taught that life challenges, societal pressures, our environment, and countless other factors alter our wellbeing. Additionally, we need to relentlessly attend to our wellbeing by daily practices, by continuously learning, by maintaining and seeking never-ending support.

Does wellbeing require ongoing effort and intentional cultivation?

Wellbeing – the fresh take

But what if true well-being isn't about achieving anything? What if it's about remembering a state of inner peace that's always been there? Well-being isn't something we strive for, but rather our most natural state…

What I want you to consider is…

If we would consider well-being as a state of inner peace, harmony, and connection. And if we imagine being in such a state now. 

• Do you think you would tend to take a better care of your physical health or not care about it at all? 
• Would you take on life challenges as they come or would it be an eternal struggle? 
• Would the daily challenges seem like the end of the world or just another logistic to figure out? 
• Would you enjoy your relationships and generally have a hopeful outlook on life?

Wellbeing: a state of inner peace, harmony, and connection.

It’s neither a new approach nor a secret …

Our well-being isn't something we achieve through effort or external validation. It isn't dependent on another person's opinion or the potential for conflict. It stems from an inherent part of our being. A true well-being is more about recognizing and appreciating existing states of contentment rather than constantly striving for an idealized state.

Imagine a calm lake. On the surface, there may be ripples and waves, but beneath the surface, the water remains still and peaceful. This inner stillness, the well-being is always present, even when the surface of our lives is disturbed by thoughts and emotions.

This is not a new concept. It’s what the ancient philosophers spoke about and the modern-day enlightened teachers mean when they tell us to find the peace and joy within ourselves, and not in the outer world. This 'inner peace,' this inherent well-being, allows us to navigate challenging situations with grace and resilience. It's the quiet strength that enables us to navigate even the most extreme adversity and maintain our focus on our goals.

It's not about forcing ourselves to be happy, but about recognizing and appreciating the moments of joy and contentment that naturally arise.

Little experiment, if you choose to accept it

Circling back to the “potential situation” from the beginning of this article.

Have you ever experienced these kinds of “unusual” circumstances in your life?

• A group of people attending the same, same conference keynote, yet each one of them has a completely different comment about it.
• There is that 1 person in our department that drives you “crazy”, while others seem to tolerate them easily.
• The client who appeared interested in your offer, but your colleague predicts it as a "lost-to-the-competition" case.
• Missing a target and feeling deeply frustrated, even though you weren't as upset when you missed it previously.
• That family member who usually annoys you, but you barely noticed them during the last family gathering.

How could we all have different experiences of the same circumstances?
How could you once consider a situation a total disaster, and another time you don’t even mind?

How can a person stay calm and collected while others stress out and burn out in the same company?

How could this be?

How about experimenting with that idea: No one and nothing can make you feel any certain way?

For the next few days, observe your reactions to everyday situations. Notice how your thoughts and emotions arise. Experiment with the idea that your emotional response is determined by your internal state, and there is always a capacity in you for a peaceful and resilient response, even if it was not the initial one that comes to mind. This is where the natural well-being comes into play.

No one and nothing can make you feel any certain way.
How about experimenting with that?

So, how about acknowledging and honoring this inherent well-being, thanks to which we can navigate life's challenges with greater ease, grace, and natural resilience? It is not something we achieve; it's who we actually are.

How about finding well-being as a quiet stream flowing beneath the surface of our lives? Sometimes, the noise and chaos of daily life can obscure it, but it's always there for us to rely on.

Would you like to discuss that individually?