The Decision Delusion: Why You Think You Struggle (But You Don't)

Introduction: The Weight of Expectations

If you caught my previous article (link here), you know we explored the power of effortless listening – that special kind of listening that brings unexpected results. Today, let’s unpack something we all wrestle with: decision-making, a topic often clouded by myths and misconceptions.

"I need to be more decisive! I need to make the right decisions! I need to know the outcome before I choose!" Sound familiar? These expectations surface every time I delve into this topic, whether in private coaching sessions or public workshops. And let’s face it, we’re constantly reminded that we navigate a world defined by VUCA (Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, Ambiguity) and BANI (Brittle, Anxious, Nonlinear, Incomprehensible) models.

The Dead-End Road: Control vs. Reality

So, it's no surprise we often feel trapped. We relentlessly pursue rigid control, fixating on "right" decisions, while the world responds with unpredictability, non-linear outcomes, and ambiguity. It’s like we're trying to build a dam against a tidal wave. How can we possibly control anything in a world that constantly defies it?

Let’s find out using my favorite framework, which I use during my trainings:

Getting curious: The Numbers Game (You Decide Every 1.8 Seconds)

Let's get down to brass tacks. We often believe we struggle with decisions, right? But here’s a thought-provoking exercise:

• You make approximately 35,000 decisions a day.
• That’s roughly one decision every 1.8 seconds, factoring in sleep.

If we’re making decisions constantly, why are we living in a decision delusion that we struggle with decision making? Clearly, we make a decision every 1,8 seconds!

So, we naturally know what to do!

The real challenge arises when we don’t know what to do, and that's precisely what we label a "decision."

The Gut Feeling: When You Just Know

Have you ever had that experience where everyone around you was vehemently opposed to your choice, yet you just knew it was right? No logical explanations, just a deep, unwavering sense of knowing. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We often can’t articulate why we were so certain, but we just knew, while those around us shook their heads in disbelief.

So, what distinguishes that effortless certainty from the paralyzing indecision we sometimes experience?

Here’s my bold assertion: I don’t believe anyone has a fundamental deficiency in decision-making. It’s an innate mechanism, a factory setting. We simply tend to interfere with it, disrupting a perfectly designed system.

The Mental Clutter: How We Get in Our Own Way

How do we do that? We get bogged down by:

• Overanalyzing potential negative outcomes.
• Seeking perpetual external validation.
• Attempting to control the uncontrollable.
• Getting lost in a labyrinth of “what ifs.”

The Moment of Clarity: Where Insights Arise

Imagine, for a moment, all those intrusive thoughts dissipating. What would happen then? I’m confident the decision would surface with crystal clarity, as swiftly as any other decision you didn’t label “difficult/important/etc.”

And speaking of clarity, reflect on those moments when a “difficult” decision suddenly became apparent. Perhaps it struck you in the shower, during a walk, or in the stillness of the night. Where do your insights typically emerge? When you had a “difficult” decision to make, and almost miraculously you got the idea out of the blue… or you’ve heard from others that their answer just came to them!

So reflect for yourself, in your experience, when do you usually get ideas out of the box, resolutions to your problems?

The Fundamental Choices: Yes, No, or "I Don't Know...Yet"

Let’s get to the final part of my framework: How it actually already works?

Here’s the fundamental truth: when confronted with a decision, you really only have three options: yes, no, or “I don’t know…yet.” We’re comfortable with yes and no, but we often dismiss “I don’t know…yet.” That’s a mistake, because it’s as valid of an option as the other two.

Navigating Uncertainty: What to Do When You Don't Know

So, what do you do when you don’t know? You can:

• Allow it to resolve on its own.
• Give it a moment and the answer will reveal itself.
• Conduct an experiment.

The Coin Flip Experiment: Uncovering Your True Feelings

Here’s a practical exercise: think of a decision you’re grappling with. Assign heads and tails to your options. Flip a coin.

No, I will not tell you to follow the result!

Check …your reaction… were you disappointed of the final result? Or did you have a sigh of relief? That is where you answer truly is.

You always already know what you want to do, sometimes it gets covered up by those interferences I mentioned before.

The Natural Mechanism: Simple and Intuitive

Ultimately, our natural decision-making mechanism is:

• Feels like common sense.
• Comes with a clear, unmistakable feeling.
• Is simple and straightforward.
• Is universal.
• Isn’t driven by endless, convoluted justifications.

Conclusion: Trusting Your Inner Compass

I recognize this might challenge some of commonly deeply held beliefs, particularly in the context of our complex, VUCA/BANI reality. But I invite you to consider: doesn’t it resonate with your own lived experiences?

Decision-making isn’t about exerting control or discovering the “perfect” answer, especially not in a world that thrives on unpredictability. It’s about listening to your innate wisdom and steering clear from interferences 😉

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below!

Would you like to discuss that individually?